i bleed for her every month, dreaming of blood
loss and killings of sacred animals i would give up
for a chance of redemption
in her eyes i’m a murderer, a deviant, a dirty queer
who will only bring her bad luck as long as my blood tarnish
the wooden floors

i can’t give her what she wants. a child. a hope. a life.
i will end the legacy of blowing through hands rough skin
from work digging into dirt to retrieve bodies buried
last spring

she only wants what she can take with violence, wrenching
her hands into laps and pulling skin apart. i hope my sister gets
put before it’s time to eat, that she’ll be as barren as me.

only therapy that leaves fingernails scars, helps when
the ceiling turns into an ocean, she latches onto the boat
and swims in laps, her teeth in rows inside her mouth
she’s a bloodhound, a bat and a mother with an eye in the neck
her car pulls into the driveway and i trip over my feet, she
can’t see that i eat.